im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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