i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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