I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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