Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
