Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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