why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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