I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
True college students do jello shots in the library
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