What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I intend to get homeless drunk
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
