did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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