I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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