Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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