i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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