you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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