i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
