you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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