the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize