My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
