yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
