So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
