Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
