I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She told me I should be a condom model.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
