Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
