It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.