highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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