we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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