well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize