my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
