I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize