we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
