So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
