I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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