i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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