What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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