im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
