I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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