Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
