9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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