you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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