miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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