giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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