I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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