Sry I called you an 8
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
