i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
