If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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