Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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