Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
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I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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