Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
