I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
