Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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