hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
