i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
