I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
