yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
