come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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