I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
