Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
