id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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