Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
